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I grew up in
a really brutal household.

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There was a lot of physical
abuse, emotional abuse.

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On my 15th birthday,

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my father woke me up and
kicked me out of the house.

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That was the last time I've
seen anybody in my family.

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I was 15-years-old

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00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,419
with a grocery bag full of
clothes and that was it.

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00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,487
And I was thumbing
down the highway,

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trying to figure out
what to do next,

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and this guy picked me up.

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It didn't take him very long

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to figure out what was going on,

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and he gave me a place to
stay and a job, you know.

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On the condition that
I kept going to school.

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00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,565
Then he taught me how to cook.

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00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,171
There was this girl, Susan,
that I met,

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and we fell in love

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00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,840
and we got pregnant.

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00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,044
It just kind of blew me away.

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00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,515
I was still a kid, but now
I'm gonna have a kid.

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00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,550
And then we had the baby, and...

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It was amazing.
I mean...

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00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,623
There's this little

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00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,057
thing...
There's this baby there,

27
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,560
and it's alive and it needs
you for everything right now.

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00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,761
It can't...

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00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,372
The only thing it knows
how to do right now

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00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,631
is breathe and poop.

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00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,632
It's depending on you for

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00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,933
everything else you need to do.

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00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,100
And that was just like...

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It was really, really
overwhelming, you know.

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00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,772
It was just... Wow.

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00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:54,542
Up until that point,
my biggest concern was

37
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,210
putting gas in my car.

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00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,787
You know, what was I
going to have for dinner?

39
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,548
And now, there's something
dependent on me.

40
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,216
It was... It was...

41
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,917
It was an awakening,
it really was.

42
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,334
So how are you all doing?

43
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,711
You guys have been
here for about...

44
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,403
Well, some of you for years,

45
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,738
and some of you just got here.

46
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,805
Let's start with you.

47
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,607
You've been here
a very short time.

48
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,443
What do you think of this place?

49
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,677
I mean, I enjoy living here.

50
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,912
I mean, the rent's
not killing us

51
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,414
or anything like that.

52
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:41,915
It's an adjustment from prison?

53
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,051
Yeah.

54
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,554
Yeah. I mean, it definitely
took some adjustment

55
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,489
just getting used to

56
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,824
living outside and
stuff like that.

57
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,627
How long do you think
it takes to kind of decompress?

58
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:56,930
I've decompressed a lot,

59
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,932
but I wouldn't say that
I'm totally there yet.

60
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,534
Okay, okay.

61
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,002
I still got some quirks.

62
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,880
I've been out for six years
and I'm still decompressing.

63
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,039
- Really? Wow.
- Yes, sir.

64
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,775
That's why I like being
here in the park.

65
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:08,976
I'm fairly insulated.

66
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,054
I mean, I can still branch out
and go do what I gotta do,

67
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,713
but here I'm kind of insulated.

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00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,115
Everybody's been through
what I've been through, so...

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00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,817
You know,
there's that understanding.

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00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,819
People can talk when
you stop on the street.

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00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,388
Instead of just saying hi,

72
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:21,965
they stop and talk about
what they're going through.

73
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,825
Yeah. I've been able to
open up more here,

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00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,695
'cause I never had
that opportunity before.

75
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:30,631
So, that's actually a very
good thing for me.

76
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,801
The strength
is in the camaraderie,

77
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,736
and that's what makes
this place work.

78
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,838
I'm only here couple of
hours a week.

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00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,907
It's you guys being there
for each other

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00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,108
that makes the difference.

81
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,834
I usually get bored.

82
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,737
That's one of the...

83
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,440
the big problems for me,
if I start to get bored,

84
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,643
I start looking for some
trouble to get into.

85
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,678
Idle hands, tools of the devil.

86
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,484
An average day, I would go to
work for six-seven hours.

87
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,687
I would come home. I would
either play a computer game,

88
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,157
or surf the Internet,
or look at pornography

89
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,526
until I fell asleep.

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00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,628
That was my life.

91
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,734
I was choosing unhealthy things,

92
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,002
specifically the pornography,

93
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,137
to spend time with.

94
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:52,112
Between the first
time I had sex,

95
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,814
and the time I got arrested,

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00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,550
any girlfriend that I had,
it was always

97
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,586
me trying to push 'em
towards sex.

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00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,022
I had convinced myself
in my head

99
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:05,593
that, you know, everybody
else is having sex.

100
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:08,762
When I finally had a girl
that I was interested in,

101
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,030
she rejected me.

102
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,636
So I got really angry
that night.

103
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,839
I didn't have
anything else to do,

104
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,643
and I borrowed a car
from family that was there

105
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,956
and drove all the way to Mexico.

106
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,981
I drove around for maybe
two or three hours,

107
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,484
looking for
the red light district.

108
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:33,654
I couldn't find a prostitute.

109
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:36,056
I'd just get angrier
and angrier and angrier.

110
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,961
Finally,

111
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,063
I found this little girl.

112
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,132
And she was walking
with her cousin

113
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:49,069
and I grabbed her and
I threw her into the car

114
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,538
and I drove off.

115
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,574
They were closer to his house.

116
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,909
And the little cousin
ran over to the house.

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00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:01,181
And...

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00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:07,621
And his uncle,
or whoever it was,

119
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:10,157
they hop in the car
and they start chasing me

120
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,225
all over kingdom come.

121
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,629
Finally I'm able to lose them...

122
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,000
And...

123
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,005
That's when I did my...

124
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,542
I did those...
I raped her.

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00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,328
Florida Justice Transitions

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00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:52,700
is a program
designed to transition felons,

127
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,168
or at risk populations
in general,

128
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,770
back into society

129
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,739
so that they may become
productive citizens.

130
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:03,911
All of the staff here
are sex offenders

131
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:06,313
that have been through
the program themselves

132
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,181
and they want to give back.

133
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:14,955
I was convicted of
solicitation via the Internet.

134
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,758
And I came here out of prison.

135
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:21,061
Because I needed a place to
live, I didn't have anybody.

136
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,296
I didn't know what my family
thought at that time.

137
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,564
I wasn't speaking to them.

138
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,102
I got quite involved
immediately.

139
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,705
I took it over from Nancy
due to her health failing,

140
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,841
and so she asked me
if I would help.

141
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,118
And I came in and I
helped for a while

142
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,422
and then I took it
over from her.

143
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,014
A typical resident,

144
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:43,884
when they come into our program,

145
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,153
they generally stay for
the life of their probation

146
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:50,223
and the counseling
provided by Don Sweeney

147
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,925
is essentially
a two year program.

148
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,398
A sex offender in
the state of Florida

149
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,334
is an individual who
committed a sex crime,

150
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:05,205
which is a very large list

151
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:08,709
of things that could
qualify somebody

152
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:13,013
to be actually labeled as
a registered sex offender.

153
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:18,251
The typical reaction
of a normal citizen

154
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,087
is, "We don't care.

155
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,724
They committed the crime,
so, we don't care if they die."

156
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,897
Not to mention I'll be restoring
sheds and renting them out.

157
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,398
I'm gonna call them a house.

158
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,767
- Really?
- Right. Like these.

159
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,736
I spend nine hours a day

160
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,270
working in a back breaking job

161
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,006
for $9 an hour.

162
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,008
Those are the people that
are gonna hire you.

163
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:46,013
Guys who need the help
and a high turnover job,

164
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:49,817
and are gonna pay very little
money for the effort.

165
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,719
What do you do to change it?

166
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,154
The change is unlikely.

167
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,857
You're just gonna have to
do what you did in prison

168
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,292
and do what you gotta do to

169
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,162
survive on a day to day basis.

170
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,363
That's all you can do.

171
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,431
I disagree.

172
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,767
I think you have to, uh,

173
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,837
take it outside yourself and
look at the bigger picture.

174
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,272
Nobody's gonna stand up
and fight for us.

175
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:15,108
That's why we've gotta do
something about it now.

176
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,710
Thanks for the drink, guys.

177
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,287
Bill, thank you for
your company, buddy.

178
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,747
Enjoyed having you over.

179
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,252
Well, I'd hoped
that Bill would stay longer.

180
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,954
He ain't got no choice.

181
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,356
What is this? Is he on
some kind of a...

182
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,357
He's on house arrest.

183
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,792
- He is?
- Yeah.

184
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,160
I had no idea.

185
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:37,230
He got I think it was like
two years on house arrest

186
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:41,769
because he failed to register
an alternate address.

187
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,804
He'd been staying with
his girlfriend.

188
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,139
You know, he's allowed to run
out to Home Depot

189
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,374
or something like that.

190
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,909
You know, for stuff
for the park.

191
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,244
But other than that,
he's supposed to be here.

192
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:55,916
And his shopping time is
5:00 to 7:00 on Saturdays.

193
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,163
I was convicted of

194
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,900
attempted capital
sexual battery.

195
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:16,804
And I spent a total of
12 years incarcerated.

196
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,778
I'm a maintenance
and security here,

197
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,279
so I get up every morning

198
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,781
and I go to the office to see

199
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:28,882
if there's any
maintenance issues

200
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:29,883
that popped up overnight.

201
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,484
If there are, I'll handle them.

202
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,821
If they're not, then I go back
to rebuilding the trailers.

203
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,090
There's a lot of people
out in the world

204
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,158
that don't think very rationally

205
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,159
about how to handle us.

206
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,027
So, you get a lot of vigilantes.

207
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,094
You get a lot of people that

208
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:41,829
wanna come in here
starting trouble,

209
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,831
or they're a little drunk,

210
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:44,865
so, they want to come in here
and start trouble.

211
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:47,567
with the "baby rapers"
as they call us.

212
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,971
So, it's my job to make sure
that our residents are safe.

213
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,108
5:15.

214
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,445
I write down my time,
my mileage,

215
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,347
everywhere I'm going.

216
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,315
I have a little green dot
on a computer

217
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,492
to tell 'em where I am any time.

218
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,385
But I still have to
write all this down.

219
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:07,954
It's silly.

220
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,326
Here we are.

221
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,011
Sorry about Waldo, Lloyd.

222
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,445
Yeah, well...

223
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,192
This is gonna sound like
a really stupid question.

224
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,851
What the hell is that?

225
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:41,821
That was in my dryer when
I went to put my clothes in.

226
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,391
It's a sack of rats.

227
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,962
Somebody left it there?

228
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,999
It was just sitting in my dryer.

229
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:55,068
I thought it might be a little
bag of socks or something.

230
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,408
How you doing?

231
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,111
I'm doing.

232
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,346
I'm still here,
I'm still alive, still kicking.

233
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,590
Worry about your shift
for right now.

234
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,482
Yeah, right? That's what
I'll worry about.

235
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,284
I called my parents,

236
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:14,421
I said, "look, I need
somebody to help me out."

237
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,238
Good morning, guys.
Nothing new?

238
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,472
Yeah, there's one...

239
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,074
Just the one for Volano?

240
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,242
- Yeah.
- All right.

241
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,945
I gotta take care of that today.

242
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,279
All right.

243
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,381
See you guys.

244
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,059
I grew up in an
extremely abusive home.

245
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,196
When I was six-years-old,

246
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,598
there was a babysitter
that used to

247
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,400
fondle me, my brother.

248
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,369
Do things to us sexually.

249
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,436
She would threaten that

250
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:04,747
if I didn't do what she
wanted me to do,

251
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,940
then she would tell my
parents that I didn't behave

252
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,317
and I knew I was gonna
get a beating.

253
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:12,045
So, I got a choice between
feeling good or feeling pain,

254
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,646
so I would always choose
to feel good.

255
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,583
She would get us naked.

256
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,419
She would do things to us
with her panties.

257
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,521
She would masturbate us.
She would

258
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,290
rub her vagina on our faces.

259
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,159
That kind of thing.

260
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,695
And we didn't tell our parents
a whole lot of anything.

261
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,363
We were more scared
of our parents.

262
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,378
The same babysitter, she had
brought this doll over.

263
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,115
It was a stuffed doll,
life sized for us at the time.

264
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,416
And she cut a hole in the thing

265
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,218
where the vagina should be.

266
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:54,054
And showed my brother
how to have

267
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,089
intercourse with this doll.

268
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,190
Well, my mother walked in

269
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,291
and saw my brother
doing this one day,

270
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,394
and she ended up
putting Tabasco sauce

271
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,495
on my brother's penis

272
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,497
and then making him go
sit out on the curb.

273
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:07,100
And to this day I can remember
that kid howling,

274
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:08,601
'cause he was in so much pain.

275
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,504
I mean, she put Tabasco
sauce on his penis!

276
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,116
She didn't ask him,
"Where did you learn that?"

277
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,107
She just punished him.

278
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,243
So, no, we didn't talk about it.

279
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:41,068
Well, I was raised
outside of Chicago.

280
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,669
That's where I met Susan.

281
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,372
I was actually 16 and she
was 15 when we got pregnant.

282
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,309
I didn't know what to do,
so I joined the Navy.

283
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,244
You know, I can do
20 years in the Navy

284
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,480
and retire and learn a trade
or whatever.

285
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,748
But at least that way the
family would be taken care of.

286
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:56,816
So, I did that.

287
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,051
Then we got married,

288
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,088
had the baby.

289
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:04,257
It was the most joyous,
happiest time of my life.

290
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,458
I mean, here's a baby.

291
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,427
This is a piece of me.
We did this.

292
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,162
It was so cool.

293
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,330
It was really cool.

294
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,505
About a year after he was born,

295
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,440
we went to Chicago
for Christmas.

296
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:26,179
And we were driving down
Highway 10, I think it was,

297
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,349
and my car broke down.

298
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,850
Two o'clock in the morning.

299
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,120
Got a one-year-old son
and my wife in a car...

300
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,325
So, I was gonna
go get some help,

301
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:41,228
rather than carry
the baby around.

302
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,663
And when I came back from
getting some help...

303
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,166
Of course, back then there
was no cell phones or anything.

304
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:47,834
And when I came back from

305
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,171
making a phone call...

306
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,472
there was a tractor trailer

307
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,141
sitting on top of my Volkswagen.

308
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,342
And, um...

309
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:02,715
They were killed.

310
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,200
Sorry.

311
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,113
They were killed
by a drunk driver.

312
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,584
The guy was sleeping with

313
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,017
a bottle of Jack Daniels
in his lap.

314
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,931
They fine him $500

315
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,367
and took away his license
for six months.

316
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:03,710
I went on a 20 year spin off.
I just...

317
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,412
tried to kill myself
for 20 years.

318
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,486
I did everything
I could extreme.

319
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,256
I got into drugs,
I got into partying.

320
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,559
Everything dangerous
that I could do.

321
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,160
I just...

322
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,162
stopped really caring.

323
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,471
All right, everybody.

324
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,275
You guys ready?

325
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,868
What would you like to
talk about today?

326
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,879
I feel I'm set up
for failure every day.

327
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:40,780
Yes.

328
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:43,283
I got a probation officer
telling my job,

329
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,518
"Why'd you hire a sex offender?

330
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,954
Are you crazy?"
I got a probation officer

331
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:51,591
telling my landlord that I
was masturbating to children

332
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,361
when I wasn't. I was a flasher.

333
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,695
The law says that they

334
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,564
have to contact
the potential employer

335
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,998
within 30 days of hire.

336
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,335
But they're not supposed to
scare the employer either.

337
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,505
Every job has said
horrible things

338
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,949
to every one of the employers
that I've had.

339
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,875
That's defamation of character.

340
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,477
We can actually all get together

341
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,620
and tell them to shut it down.

342
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:15,648
Your employer will
see for him or herself.

343
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,717
They are gonna make
their own decisions.

344
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,352
If you're a good worker...

345
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,987
- Okay?
- If they give you a chance.

346
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:24,257
If you do a great job
and you're an offender,

347
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:26,759
then other co...

348
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,529
The HR department will
allow other offenders

349
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,264
to come into that company.

350
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,600
And that's happened a lot
with us.

351
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,404
Have a great day.

352
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:42,275
I was hired back in 1983,

353
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:45,445
to treat the victims
of sexual abuse.

354
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,514
What was going on was,

355
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,549
once the system came in

356
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,518
and started breaking up
the family

357
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,753
and arresting the perpetrator,

358
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,656
the kids realized that

359
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,425
the family wasn't
gonna get any help.

360
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,759
Then they would recant.

361
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:03,563
Recant means they would say,
"Oh, I made it up."

362
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,733
Then they'd release
the offender from jail

363
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:11,604
and the Civil Child Protection
Authorities would move in

364
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:14,040
and take the kid and put
the child in foster care,

365
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,241
the victim.

366
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,711
My job was to make sure
the kids didn't recant.

367
00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:22,014
I found out
by just listening to them,

368
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:26,486
that if I was willing to talk
to their offenders,

369
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,622
and try to help them somehow,

370
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,358
they wouldn't recant.

371
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:35,528
And my only obligation
was to go to the jail

372
00:21:35,562 --> 00:21:37,096
and visit the offender,

373
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:40,667
and try to help them
get some treatment.

374
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,001
But there was no treatment.

375
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,804
So, that forced me to start
counseling for the men.

376
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:46,939
All right.

377
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,107
You take care of yourself.

378
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,352
All right, buddy, I'll see you.

379
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:50,476
Bye bye, now.

380
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:40,827
What about that wall there?

381
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:41,694
You got it fixed?

382
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,863
- Yeah.
- Right, that way.

383
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,465
There's a bunch of boxes
right here.

384
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:47,800
Okay.

385
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:50,703
I don't have any foam
other than what's here.

386
00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:51,971
I think I have a wall here.

387
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:52,872
Yeah, just start there

388
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:54,841
and just carry it
all the way through.

389
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:55,908
Just like you did in my house.

390
00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:57,222
You don't have to change this...

391
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:12,124
Uh, we don't know if
it's going to work.

392
00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:15,995
Kettle corn.

393
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,465
That's what this is.

394
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:20,399
Thank you.

395
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:25,037
I don't know what flavors
these are,

396
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,172
they are donated.

397
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:39,819
We have that one, too.

398
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:41,187
Yeah, that's good.

399
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,655
We want that one.

400
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:49,061
Do you have that one?

401
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,964
My dad said, "You're
gonna help me clean my room."

402
00:23:51,998 --> 00:23:53,566
And I said, "Okay."

403
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,803
You know, like,
"I get to go with daddy."

404
00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:59,806
And my little sister, she's
four years younger than me,

405
00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:02,842
she was still a baby
in a little play pen.

406
00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:07,122
So, we went down the hall
and went to the bedroom,

407
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:09,716
and he locked the door.

408
00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:12,151
And he said, "You know that
you're daddy's girl,

409
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:15,755
and I love you, and I just
wanna share this with you."

410
00:24:23,262 --> 00:24:25,031
When my mom would go to work,

411
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:27,133
and he was home,

412
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:30,236
certain songs would
come on the radio.

413
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:33,906
He would look at me and I knew
it was gonna be time again.

414
00:24:35,842 --> 00:24:37,944
Even now, if they come on,

415
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:39,077
I cringe.

416
00:24:47,954 --> 00:24:49,054
I know there were

417
00:24:49,722 --> 00:24:52,124
other men my mom dated

418
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:55,261
that did things to us as well.

419
00:24:57,229 --> 00:25:00,132
But the only two men
that I remember

420
00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:01,568
is my dad and Glen.

421
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,871
One day, Glen had...

422
00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:07,774
raped me...

423
00:25:07,807 --> 00:25:10,309
You know, because I was
already damaged goods,

424
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,079
so, it wouldn't matter
if one more man did.

425
00:25:13,913 --> 00:25:15,848
And, um...

426
00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:18,985
I remember laying there crying,

427
00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:20,853
and he slapped me and told me

428
00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:23,590
that if he wanted
everyone to know

429
00:25:23,623 --> 00:25:26,025
what he was doing to me,
he would take...

430
00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:28,961
this ho and put me
in the street.

431
00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:35,534
And I shut up. I didn't
say anything else.

432
00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:38,771
But after that,

433
00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:43,175
it caused my body...

434
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:46,012
I guess all I can tell you
is it cause my body

435
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:48,114
to want those same feelings.

436
00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:53,285
And I didn't know how to
make myself feel those feelings

437
00:25:53,319 --> 00:25:56,623
except for to act the same
thing on someone else.

438
00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:00,727
So, I did, with my cousin.

439
00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:08,167
And my aunt tore off
a tree branch

440
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,670
and whipped me and whipped me
and whipped me,

441
00:26:11,838 --> 00:26:13,940
and told me that I was
going to hell.

442
00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:17,076
And that I was not going
to be like my father.

443
00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:19,679
That was my second grade year,

444
00:26:19,712 --> 00:26:21,072
'cause they took us
away that year.

445
00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:25,885
Like you, I don't have a whole
lot of eloquent

446
00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:28,054
words or speeches.

447
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:31,290
But sometimes we have
a wake up call in our life.

448
00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:33,125
When you read this...

449
00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:34,293
It's really wild.

450
00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:38,097
I went to five
different homes between

451
00:26:39,131 --> 00:26:41,634
second grade and fifth grade.

452
00:26:41,668 --> 00:26:45,171
I started craving sex
all the time.

453
00:26:45,204 --> 00:26:46,839
With anybody.

454
00:26:46,873 --> 00:26:48,841
It got to a point to where

455
00:26:50,877 --> 00:26:52,611
it didn't matter who you were.

456
00:26:53,112 --> 00:26:55,982
And when I was 11,

457
00:26:56,015 --> 00:26:59,285
I was sleeping with
a 16-year-old boy.

458
00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,689
I didn't have a menstrual.

459
00:27:02,722 --> 00:27:04,857
So, they took me to the thing.

460
00:27:05,725 --> 00:27:09,762
They told me that...

461
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:12,699
they'd have to give me some
medicine to help me sleep

462
00:27:12,732 --> 00:27:14,033
to give me an exam.

463
00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:15,902
When I woke up,
I was bleeding again.

464
00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:17,375
So, I was like, "Oh, okay."
You know.

465
00:27:17,403 --> 00:27:19,939
I'm 11-years-old.
I don't know.

466
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:22,041
They told me that
I'd just been sick,

467
00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:23,642
and I was fine now.

468
00:27:24,944 --> 00:27:28,681
I still slept around,
still did everything,

469
00:27:28,715 --> 00:27:31,017
but it did come back.
They told me that

470
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,219
all of my insides were messed up

471
00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:37,990
from being messed with
when I was little.

472
00:27:38,024 --> 00:27:39,926
That I would never
carry a child.

473
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,264
That they had gave me
an abortion and I didn't know.

474
00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:18,097
Electronic monitoring
is a device

475
00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:19,465
that the offender carries on

476
00:28:19,498 --> 00:28:21,968
their waist or in their pockets.

477
00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:23,435
It reports to a satellite,

478
00:28:23,469 --> 00:28:26,906
and their probation officer

479
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:29,141
can see at any time of
the day or night

480
00:28:29,175 --> 00:28:31,210
where they are.

481
00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:34,480
It does pinpoint to within
three feet of where they are.

482
00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:41,954
All sex offenders are asked
to go report

483
00:28:41,988 --> 00:28:43,289
to the Sex Offender Registry,

484
00:28:43,322 --> 00:28:46,458
that tells
the Sheriff's Department

485
00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:49,295
where they live,
where they work,

486
00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:52,298
what car they're driving,
what email address they have,

487
00:28:52,331 --> 00:28:54,834
if they're going to school,
which school they're going to.

488
00:28:54,867 --> 00:28:58,004
And they have to do that
a minimum of twice a year,

489
00:28:58,037 --> 00:28:59,137
every single year.

490
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,244
Anybody that lives
in the community

491
00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:08,414
can got to the Sheriff's
Department website

492
00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:12,451
and see who's living
next door to them.

493
00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:15,788
They also have applications
on cell phones now...

494
00:29:15,822 --> 00:29:18,357
And people have it.

495
00:29:18,390 --> 00:29:20,226
It's called Offender Locater.
Right here.

496
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:23,162
And if you press on it,

497
00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:25,965
it will ask you,
"Use current location?"

498
00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:27,098
And then it searches.

499
00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:30,269
And there you go.

500
00:29:30,302 --> 00:29:32,538
It brings up anybody
within a radius

501
00:29:32,571 --> 00:29:34,473
of where we're currently at.

502
00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:36,242
It reports their names.

503
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:37,543
It gives their picture.

504
00:29:38,845 --> 00:29:41,080
It shows any aliases.

505
00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:43,015
It gives a current address.

506
00:29:43,883 --> 00:29:45,784
It gives their crime.

507
00:29:46,552 --> 00:29:48,454
What crime they committed.

508
00:29:49,455 --> 00:29:51,223
The date of the crime.

509
00:29:52,491 --> 00:29:55,127
Gender, date of birth.

510
00:29:55,161 --> 00:29:57,830
Height, weight, hair color
and eye color.

511
00:30:30,196 --> 00:30:33,199
I was arrested in one of
those internet stings.

512
00:30:33,232 --> 00:30:35,868
I replied to a Craigslist ad
for sex

513
00:30:35,902 --> 00:30:37,636
for a 30-year-old woman.

514
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:40,039
- 30?
- Thirty was the age in the ad.

515
00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:42,041
And you were 22 at the time?

516
00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:43,242
Yes.

517
00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:46,112
I had responded to
several ads that night.

518
00:30:46,145 --> 00:30:48,380
That was the only one
that replied back to me.

519
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,350
We started talking.

520
00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:54,320
She said she wanted to include
her 14-year-old daughter.

521
00:30:55,988 --> 00:30:58,190
You mean,
bring her along? Or...

522
00:30:58,224 --> 00:30:59,892
Oh, I was going to their place.

523
00:30:59,926 --> 00:31:03,229
So, like, she wanted me to
have sex with the daughter.

524
00:31:03,262 --> 00:31:05,397
And I was saying stuff,

525
00:31:05,431 --> 00:31:07,233
what I would like to do
with the mother,

526
00:31:08,067 --> 00:31:10,402
and they keep pushing.

527
00:31:10,436 --> 00:31:12,638
And in hindsight
it's so obvious.

528
00:31:12,671 --> 00:31:14,406
Their tactics are so childish.

529
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,442
But I was caught up in it.

530
00:31:16,475 --> 00:31:19,278
All that shows up in the
police report is the one thing

531
00:31:19,311 --> 00:31:21,047
she got me to say
about the daughter.

532
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,982
She pressured me
into saying that.

533
00:31:23,015 --> 00:31:24,951
I still showed up.

534
00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:26,552
And it was a sting.
Got arrested.

535
00:31:26,585 --> 00:31:31,623
You know, you're very smart.
You got a master's degree.

536
00:31:31,657 --> 00:31:34,593
So, this about is kind of
an emotional immaturity.

537
00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:36,996
You got suckered into something.

538
00:31:37,029 --> 00:31:40,466
Do you look at it like
an addiction piece?

539
00:31:40,499 --> 00:31:43,002
I would just kind of
look for attention with...

540
00:31:43,035 --> 00:31:44,303
I'd just talk to people online.

541
00:31:44,336 --> 00:31:46,638
Usually just chit-chatty stuff,
talk about food.

542
00:31:46,672 --> 00:31:48,240
Just attention.

543
00:31:48,274 --> 00:31:52,411
And that night
I wanted attention.

544
00:31:52,444 --> 00:31:54,546
So, you were at the wrong place
at the wrong time,

545
00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,482
on the wrong website,
with the wrong--

546
00:31:56,515 --> 00:31:58,717
- Yes.
- ...undercover police officer.

547
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,286
Yes.

548
00:32:00,319 --> 00:32:02,721
There are a lot of young kids

549
00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:06,058
that got sucked into
the internet sex

550
00:32:06,092 --> 00:32:07,493
law enforcement stings,

551
00:32:07,526 --> 00:32:10,096
which are increasing
in frequency.

552
00:32:10,129 --> 00:32:12,999
That's pure entrapment.

553
00:32:13,032 --> 00:32:16,268
They're not child molesters.
They're not.

554
00:32:16,302 --> 00:32:17,703
That's what they're
being labeled.

555
00:32:19,505 --> 00:32:23,142
That's a testament to how
desperate they are

556
00:32:23,175 --> 00:32:25,444
to keep the sex offender
machine going.

557
00:32:25,477 --> 00:32:28,180
The real offenders
are the families.

558
00:32:28,214 --> 00:32:30,016
They're not reporting anything,

559
00:32:30,049 --> 00:32:32,484
so now they're
manufacturing them.

560
00:32:32,518 --> 00:32:34,620
They'll spend money
on the prison system,

561
00:32:34,653 --> 00:32:37,556
which is the money maker
for politicians

562
00:32:37,589 --> 00:32:39,658
and governments now.

563
00:32:39,691 --> 00:32:42,028
You can take out stock
on Wall Street

564
00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:43,996
in prisons in Florida.

565
00:32:53,539 --> 00:32:54,540
I discovered in prison

566
00:32:54,573 --> 00:32:56,608
that violence makes me
physically ill.

567
00:32:58,177 --> 00:32:59,211
I was in the library

568
00:32:59,245 --> 00:33:01,113
and someone got
punched in the face.

569
00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:02,681
It was just one
punch to the face.

570
00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:04,383
I had stomach ache
the whole day.

571
00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:08,320
Prison was awful.
The food is horrendous.

572
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:12,258
The guards treat you horribly.

573
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:15,361
But I made some
friends in there.

574
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:17,263
My mother wrote me
every single day.

575
00:33:17,296 --> 00:33:19,331
My girlfriend wrote me
multiple times a week.

576
00:33:19,365 --> 00:33:21,600
My friends, my professors,
my father...

577
00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,202
So, I got a lot of mail.

578
00:33:23,235 --> 00:33:25,404
So, I was fortunate.

579
00:33:31,577 --> 00:33:34,613
June 26th was my
sentencing hearing.

580
00:33:34,646 --> 00:33:37,483
The state attorney, who was
supposed to be against me,

581
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:38,650
didn't have anything to say.

582
00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:40,419
He said, "Whatever you
wanna do, Judge."

583
00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:42,521
You could tell he didn't
really wanna send me away.

584
00:33:42,554 --> 00:33:44,323
But he's got a job to do.

585
00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:46,625
So, the judge took it
on himself.

586
00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:48,394
And when it came down
to sentencing,

587
00:33:48,427 --> 00:33:50,562
he gave me one year,
one day in prison,

588
00:33:50,596 --> 00:33:51,563
and three years probation.

589
00:33:51,597 --> 00:33:52,764
So, unlike most people,

590
00:33:52,798 --> 00:33:54,566
he actually gave me
less than the cap.

591
00:33:55,401 --> 00:33:56,835
So then they sent me

592
00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,670
seven hours North

593
00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:00,506
to a prison camp
away from my family.

594
00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,285
I was always a family man.

595
00:34:13,319 --> 00:34:14,553
I was always a good father.

596
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:17,289
I had a beautiful wife,

597
00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:18,557
two beautiful sons,

598
00:34:18,590 --> 00:34:20,359
great job.

599
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:22,328
You know, was living the life.

600
00:34:23,829 --> 00:34:25,664
It was a 10 minute conversation

601
00:34:25,697 --> 00:34:27,499
in a chat room,

602
00:34:27,533 --> 00:34:31,237
with an individual that said
they were 14-years-old.

603
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:35,141
Turned out to be a cop.

604
00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:38,610
And got convicted
of soliciting a minor.

605
00:34:46,252 --> 00:34:48,287
Go find some place else to live.

606
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:49,788
You've been evicted.

607
00:34:51,790 --> 00:34:55,194
It's never gonna be like it
used to be back home.

608
00:34:56,228 --> 00:34:57,796
It destroyed our lives.

609
00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,665
My wife, she had to
sell our home.

610
00:34:59,698 --> 00:35:01,433
She couldn't afford it
without my salary.

611
00:35:02,401 --> 00:35:03,635
And she was mad.

612
00:35:03,669 --> 00:35:07,173
I wanted to kill myself
because I was so stupid.

613
00:35:10,476 --> 00:35:12,378
My two sons and I
were very, very close.

614
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:14,213
Very close.

615
00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:18,317
And they just had a real
hard time dealing with it.

616
00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:20,352
But they finally came to see me.

617
00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:22,754
I have a picture in my bedroom

618
00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,723
hanging on the wall
of the first time.

619
00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:27,793
And that was, uh...

620
00:35:28,494 --> 00:35:29,761
It was good.

621
00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:45,911
I met Richard...

622
00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:47,946
That was in August.

623
00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:50,449
October 1st I found out
I was pregnant.

624
00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:53,385
Wasn't supposed to get pregnant.

625
00:35:54,453 --> 00:35:56,288
So, I didn't do anything

626
00:35:56,322 --> 00:35:57,923
to keep from getting pregnant.

627
00:35:57,956 --> 00:36:00,392
My grandma told me I
couldn't live with her.

628
00:36:00,426 --> 00:36:01,860
My grandmother, my aunts...

629
00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:03,929
'Cause they're from, you know,

630
00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:07,233
that time of life where
you have to be married

631
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:08,800
to have a baby.

632
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,837
So I went and told Richard that

633
00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:13,670
we were having a baby,
we have to get married.

634
00:36:14,906 --> 00:36:16,908
I married him November 13th,

635
00:36:16,942 --> 00:36:19,511
I left him December 6th
the same year.

636
00:36:20,946 --> 00:36:23,682
He tried to run me over
with the car.

637
00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:27,519
He blew a rod through my motor

638
00:36:27,553 --> 00:36:28,896
and got me kicked out
of my trailer,

639
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,020
all on the same night.

640
00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:33,759
I was three-four
months pregnant.

641
00:36:34,826 --> 00:36:36,295
I had nothing.

642
00:36:36,962 --> 00:36:39,731
And the next year,

643
00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:41,467
I wound up marrying Steve.

644
00:36:46,738 --> 00:36:49,841
Dustin was born in May of '94.

645
00:36:52,944 --> 00:36:56,214
I can't remember what
his first words...

646
00:36:57,316 --> 00:36:59,718
were.

647
00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:03,422
I really can't remember when
he took his first steps.

648
00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,260
I was drinking

649
00:37:08,294 --> 00:37:09,595
and secretly drinking.

650
00:37:09,628 --> 00:37:11,563
And that's the worst kind,

651
00:37:11,597 --> 00:37:14,700
because you're always trying
to hide everything,

652
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:16,368
and trying to be so perfect

653
00:37:16,402 --> 00:37:18,570
that you don't want
anybody to know.

654
00:37:21,006 --> 00:37:22,474
And Steve didn't drink.

655
00:37:22,508 --> 00:37:23,642
Steve didn't do drugs.

656
00:37:23,675 --> 00:37:25,611
Steve was like...

657
00:37:25,644 --> 00:37:27,613
you know, the boy next door

658
00:37:27,646 --> 00:37:30,716
that everybody wants
their daughter to marry.

659
00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:33,752
And that drove me crazy.

660
00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:36,522
I left him when Dustin
was two-years-old.

661
00:37:37,456 --> 00:37:38,990
And I'd started

662
00:37:39,024 --> 00:37:42,694
talking and seeing my dad again.

663
00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:45,364
And had started sleeping
with my dad again.

664
00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:50,569
And I know this must
sound really sick,

665
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:52,438
'cause I still can't wrap
my hands around it.

666
00:38:00,512 --> 00:38:02,614
And I still love him
to death, I mean...

667
00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:07,885
I don't hate him.

668
00:38:08,654 --> 00:38:09,821
I didn't even...

669
00:38:09,855 --> 00:38:13,492
At one time I had, like,
some really crazy

670
00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:16,528
things in my head that I
wanted to do to my dad.

671
00:38:19,931 --> 00:38:21,032
But that changed

672
00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:22,968
over years.

673
00:38:24,703 --> 00:38:26,505
And then...

674
00:38:26,538 --> 00:38:29,441
I was talking to guys
and stuff online,

675
00:38:29,475 --> 00:38:31,643
and was going to those, uh,

676
00:38:31,677 --> 00:38:35,881
naturalists and nudists
websites.

677
00:38:35,914 --> 00:38:38,717
And I had met this guy.
We'd been talking for, like,

678
00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,850
two or three months.

679
00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:43,622
And he knew my story
about my dad.

680
00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:45,557
He knew that I was
sleeping with my dad.

681
00:38:46,892 --> 00:38:48,627
And um...

682
00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,929
He had talked to Dustin
a couple of times.

683
00:38:51,730 --> 00:38:53,465
Dustin was eight.

684
00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:57,102
And I didn't think
nothing of it.

685
00:38:57,135 --> 00:38:58,837
And then one time

686
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:02,608
it had gotten really bad with
me and my dad.

687
00:39:02,641 --> 00:39:05,711
And I had told my dad that
I couldn't do it anymore.

688
00:39:05,744 --> 00:39:07,513
And...

689
00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:10,482
I was crying to Dominic,
was the guy

690
00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:12,216
on the computer.

691
00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:14,386
And...

692
00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:15,787
Dominique told me, he said,

693
00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:18,757
"Well, Tracy, there's
one thing we can do."

694
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:20,167
And he said,
"I'll take care of you.

695
00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:21,460
I'll take care of Dustin."

696
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,395
He said,
"I'll send you the money."

697
00:39:23,429 --> 00:39:25,431
You know, he said Western Union,

698
00:39:25,464 --> 00:39:26,932
I will have money to get here.

699
00:39:26,965 --> 00:39:28,634
He said,
"All you have to do..."

700
00:39:38,577 --> 00:39:41,813
He said, "All you have to do
is ask Dustin

701
00:39:41,847 --> 00:39:45,016
if he'll have sex with you
and let me watch.

702
00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:47,085
And it'll be okay
if he says yes."

703
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,922
And I kept thinking

704
00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:52,991
how much I loved Dustin.

705
00:39:53,024 --> 00:39:54,960
And how much I knew he loved me.

706
00:39:58,564 --> 00:40:00,165
And I was like,
"I can't do that."

707
00:40:03,502 --> 00:40:04,602
And I kept drinking.

708
00:40:06,071 --> 00:40:08,840
And he kept talking
and he kept telling me,

709
00:40:08,874 --> 00:40:10,876
"I'll take care of you.
You'll be okay.

710
00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:13,011
You'll be away from him,
he won't do it again,

711
00:40:13,044 --> 00:40:14,680
it'll never happen again."

712
00:40:23,221 --> 00:40:25,457
So, one night
I was sitting there,

713
00:40:25,491 --> 00:40:26,592
Dustin was sitting there.

714
00:40:29,928 --> 00:40:32,931
And I took him and
I said, "Dustin," I said,

715
00:40:32,964 --> 00:40:35,000
"I love you." And he said,
"I know, Mama."

716
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:43,475
I've never ever, ever told this

717
00:40:43,509 --> 00:40:46,211
to nobody.

718
00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,757
He was my baby.

719
00:41:15,841 --> 00:41:17,976
He was my baby.

720
00:41:19,711 --> 00:41:21,813
And then I took that trust

721
00:41:23,048 --> 00:41:25,116
and that day he hated me.

722
00:41:43,802 --> 00:41:44,903
I came from a household

723
00:41:44,936 --> 00:41:46,536
where I never really
learned how to care,

724
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,141
and then once I finally
cared about something,

725
00:41:50,175 --> 00:41:51,943
it just got snatched
away from me.

726
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:56,582
I figured the thing to do
was stop giving a shit.

727
00:41:59,585 --> 00:42:00,886
And then I met a woman...

728
00:42:01,587 --> 00:42:02,988
Uh, Stephanie.

729
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:06,024
And she had a daughter
when I met her.

730
00:42:06,057 --> 00:42:08,660
That was a "I should have
never gotten married" wish.

731
00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:12,315
But, you know, you think
you're doing the right thing.

732
00:42:25,911 --> 00:42:27,655
Because of the experience
with the baby sitter,

733
00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:29,314
I developed this...

734
00:42:29,347 --> 00:42:30,987
I don't know if you wanna
call it a fetish

735
00:42:31,016 --> 00:42:32,116
with women's panties.

736
00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:36,354
When it first started,
it was my mother's panties.

737
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:37,989
And my father would find out,

738
00:42:38,023 --> 00:42:39,190
and I would get beat up.

739
00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:41,927
And I really was ashamed.
There was this...

740
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,995
horrible dirty thing.

741
00:42:44,029 --> 00:42:47,298
Matter of fact, I once let
my girl Stephanie

742
00:42:47,332 --> 00:42:48,700
think I was cheating on her

743
00:42:48,734 --> 00:42:49,944
rather than tell her the truth.

744
00:42:49,968 --> 00:42:51,808
Because she found a pair
of panties in the bed.

745
00:42:53,739 --> 00:42:55,674
And one day,

746
00:42:55,707 --> 00:42:57,075
the daughter was having
a sleepover

747
00:42:57,108 --> 00:43:00,245
and all the wives were
out partying.

748
00:43:00,278 --> 00:43:02,113
About two o'clock
in the morning,

749
00:43:02,147 --> 00:43:04,249
I was in my bedroom,
smoking a joint,

750
00:43:05,016 --> 00:43:06,184
watching pornography

751
00:43:06,217 --> 00:43:08,353
and masturbating.

752
00:43:08,386 --> 00:43:09,921
And all of a sudden
this little girl

753
00:43:09,955 --> 00:43:10,889
walked into my room,

754
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:12,057
to get a glass of water.

755
00:43:14,726 --> 00:43:16,170
The next day talked to
her mother about it,

756
00:43:16,194 --> 00:43:18,263
told her what had happened.

757
00:43:18,296 --> 00:43:19,774
They said that I
touched her daughter,

758
00:43:19,798 --> 00:43:22,868
despite the fact that
the daughter said I never did.

759
00:43:22,901 --> 00:43:26,972
So, I got five years
of probation for that.

760
00:43:27,005 --> 00:43:29,407
About four and a half years
into that probation,

761
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,110
I got a dirty urine
for smoking pot,

762
00:43:32,143 --> 00:43:34,103
and that was all they needed
to send me to prison.

763
00:43:36,748 --> 00:43:38,249
And then right around
the same time

764
00:43:38,283 --> 00:43:40,151
when I went to prison,

765
00:43:40,185 --> 00:43:41,419
my girlfriend was at work,

766
00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:43,722
and the 12 year old daughter
came into my bedroom

767
00:43:43,755 --> 00:43:46,324
and said, "Look, Billy. I can
wear my mommy's panties."

768
00:43:46,357 --> 00:43:48,326
That kind of threw me
over the edge,

769
00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:50,061
and I started masturbating
in front of her.

770
00:43:50,095 --> 00:43:51,863
And that was
my second conviction.

771
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,802
I was definitely guilty there.

772
00:43:57,769 --> 00:43:58,837
She's a 12 year old girl,

773
00:43:58,870 --> 00:44:00,314
she didn't need to be
exposed to that.

774
00:44:00,338 --> 00:44:01,539
I'm the adult.

775
00:44:01,572 --> 00:44:04,142
I'm supposed to take
control of that situation

776
00:44:04,175 --> 00:44:05,275
and not abuse it.

777
00:44:11,817 --> 00:44:12,951
What's up, Matt?

778
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:14,285
How did it go in court?

779
00:44:14,319 --> 00:44:17,388
I tried to get that
electronic monitoring.

780
00:44:17,422 --> 00:44:20,025
I tried to get that
knocked down in half,

781
00:44:20,058 --> 00:44:22,928
but they said that they can't
change something like that.

782
00:44:22,961 --> 00:44:24,863
It's so expensive.
I can't afford it.

783
00:44:24,896 --> 00:44:26,164
It's $8000.

784
00:44:26,197 --> 00:44:27,398
Yeah, I know.

785
00:44:27,432 --> 00:44:28,834
Yeah, so, it's just...

786
00:44:28,867 --> 00:44:31,369
They put me in a big hole
with this box.

787
00:44:58,797 --> 00:45:00,198
Hey, Mike, is Gary home?

788
00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:01,900
- Who?
- Your roommate.

789
00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:04,169
I don't know. I'll see.
Come on in.

790
00:45:04,202 --> 00:45:06,237
I can't.
You got it locked.

791
00:45:08,874 --> 00:45:10,075
Hey, Gary.

792
00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:12,319
Hey was that your friends on
the bikes a little while ago?

793
00:45:12,343 --> 00:45:14,079
Yeah.

794
00:45:14,112 --> 00:45:15,823
Hey, listen, if they don't
like sex offenders,

795
00:45:15,847 --> 00:45:17,482
they don't need to
come in our park.

796
00:45:17,515 --> 00:45:19,951
I don't need 'em bad mouthing
us, talking about pedophiles.

797
00:45:21,152 --> 00:45:22,187
All right?
I don't need that.

798
00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:23,330
If they can't be respectful,

799
00:45:23,354 --> 00:45:25,056
they don't need to
come in the park.

800
00:45:25,090 --> 00:45:26,224
All right, Bill.

801
00:45:26,257 --> 00:45:27,793
All right, man.

802
00:45:49,014 --> 00:45:50,081
How you doing?

803
00:45:50,115 --> 00:45:53,885
By the way you dropped
a Butterfinger on the floor

804
00:45:53,919 --> 00:45:55,286
at class, Saturday.

805
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:56,454
Did you get it?

806
00:45:56,487 --> 00:45:58,356
I picked it up and
I put it on the table.

807
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,037
It's kind of, uh...

808
00:46:12,070 --> 00:46:13,805
Kind of a complex situation...

809
00:46:14,305 --> 00:46:15,941
I guess.

810
00:46:15,974 --> 00:46:17,909
You still try to work
these things out

811
00:46:17,943 --> 00:46:20,111
years later.

812
00:46:20,145 --> 00:46:22,247
And I went through
a long period where

813
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,182
I probably could
have convinced anybody

814
00:46:24,215 --> 00:46:25,383
I was telling the truth.

815
00:46:26,251 --> 00:46:28,219
Long period of denial.

816
00:46:28,253 --> 00:46:29,821
I had myself convinced.

817
00:46:37,162 --> 00:46:41,032
Accepting responsibility
becomes...

818
00:46:42,233 --> 00:46:44,936
probably the single most
important thing

819
00:46:44,970 --> 00:46:47,038
that anyone in
my situation can do.

820
00:46:49,407 --> 00:46:50,608
Believe it or not,

821
00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:53,111
I think just about all of us
have a conscience.

822
00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:55,947
And, um...

823
00:46:55,981 --> 00:46:57,983
The conscience really
works on you.

824
00:46:58,016 --> 00:47:01,319
It makes it become the most
important thing to you,

825
00:47:01,352 --> 00:47:05,857
that you address the issue
and make it right,

826
00:47:05,891 --> 00:47:07,592
before you can move on.

827
00:47:13,899 --> 00:47:15,066
I'm a homosexual.

828
00:47:17,002 --> 00:47:18,136
And I ran from that.

829
00:47:19,537 --> 00:47:23,141
And just like with any other

830
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:28,113
issue that you have
left on its own,

831
00:47:28,146 --> 00:47:29,981
it goes unresolved,

832
00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:32,951
and it was a driving force
behind my offense.

833
00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:37,956
It's too easy to say
that's the reason.

834
00:47:38,489 --> 00:47:41,492
The real fault

835
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:43,328
lies with the individual.

836
00:47:43,361 --> 00:47:45,496
The real fault lies with me.

837
00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:48,133
'Cause I don't want people
to get the idea

838
00:47:48,166 --> 00:47:50,235
that you can just point
to one thing

839
00:47:50,268 --> 00:47:51,202
and say that was it.

840
00:47:51,236 --> 00:47:55,473
"Oh, I was molested when
I was a child, so..."

841
00:47:55,506 --> 00:47:57,675
That's a trigger,

842
00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,110
that's a catalyst.

843
00:47:59,144 --> 00:48:00,912
But it's not the end result.

844
00:48:06,251 --> 00:48:09,154
He made bad decisions.

845
00:48:09,187 --> 00:48:12,057
My name is Will.
I was convicted of two counts

846
00:48:12,090 --> 00:48:14,092
of lewd, lascivious molestation.

847
00:48:14,125 --> 00:48:15,526
One against an eight year old,

848
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:17,528
and one against a 13 year old.

849
00:48:17,562 --> 00:48:19,931
They were completely different

850
00:48:20,531 --> 00:48:22,333
in terms of approach,

851
00:48:22,367 --> 00:48:24,535
but what it really
boiled down to,

852
00:48:24,569 --> 00:48:26,437
was it was a couple of
crimes of opportunity.

853
00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:29,941
The first was someone I knew.

854
00:48:31,176 --> 00:48:33,511
We were rough-housing
a little bit, but,

855
00:48:33,544 --> 00:48:35,713
in my mind he could say yes.

856
00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:37,415
Children do wanna play.

857
00:48:37,448 --> 00:48:40,651
And rough-housing's okay,
and wrestling.

858
00:48:40,685 --> 00:48:42,988
They're not thinking
along sexual lines.

859
00:48:43,021 --> 00:48:45,656
So they're just innocently
going along with it.

860
00:48:45,690 --> 00:48:47,492
And if they like you...

861
00:48:47,525 --> 00:48:50,361
I don't know your crime
or you all that well,

862
00:48:50,395 --> 00:48:53,031
but I think it would be really
interesting a year from now

863
00:48:53,064 --> 00:48:54,232
to ask you that same question

864
00:48:54,265 --> 00:48:57,568
and see if you still think
it was a crime of opportunity.

865
00:48:57,602 --> 00:48:59,246
There was a lot of setup
that I wasn't aware of.

866
00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:01,973
There was a lot of fantasy
that I wasn't aware of.

867
00:49:02,007 --> 00:49:04,976
I swore to God that was
a crime of opportunity.

868
00:49:05,010 --> 00:49:07,112
It presented itself
and I capitalized.

869
00:49:07,145 --> 00:49:09,014
And I found out through
a lot of therapy,

870
00:49:09,047 --> 00:49:10,048
and a lot of talking to friends,

871
00:49:10,081 --> 00:49:11,316
and a lot of thinking,

872
00:49:11,349 --> 00:49:13,651
that I set it all up
without even knowing it.

873
00:49:13,684 --> 00:49:17,055
There's things they call sub
seemingly unimportant decisions,

874
00:49:17,088 --> 00:49:18,765
things we make. "Why did I go
this way at work today?"

875
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,125
Whatever it is.

876
00:49:20,158 --> 00:49:21,459
And I didn't know it.

877
00:49:21,492 --> 00:49:23,237
It took years and years
for me to figure it out.

878
00:49:23,261 --> 00:49:25,463
But a year from now I'd be
really interested to see

879
00:49:25,496 --> 00:49:26,773
how you're gonna answer
that same question.

880
00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:28,499
What about relationships?

881
00:49:28,533 --> 00:49:31,402
Were you in a healthy adult
relationship at the time?

882
00:49:31,436 --> 00:49:33,738
I was in an extraordinarily
unhealthy relationship.

883
00:49:33,771 --> 00:49:36,507
So, that was a piece
of the puzzle as well.

884
00:49:36,541 --> 00:49:38,176
First of all,
it was with a female,

885
00:49:38,209 --> 00:49:40,611
which was a mistake
right from the pat.

886
00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:45,116
Because I'm not heterosexual.

887
00:49:45,150 --> 00:49:47,152
So you were trying to
be something you weren't?

888
00:49:47,185 --> 00:49:49,454
- Yes.
- So, it was a way for you

889
00:49:49,487 --> 00:49:51,522
to break out and accept
who you were?

890
00:49:53,758 --> 00:49:55,760
Yeah, it's not an excuse.
I agree.

891
00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:57,162
No, not at all.

892
00:49:57,195 --> 00:49:58,329
It is part of the puzzle.

893
00:49:58,363 --> 00:50:02,167
But you have to
look at the causes.

894
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,069
Because if you
don't identify causes,

895
00:50:04,102 --> 00:50:06,671
you can't address them.

896
00:50:06,704 --> 00:50:08,773
Now that you've taken
care of that problem,

897
00:50:08,806 --> 00:50:11,476
'cause you're brutally
honest about it,

898
00:50:11,509 --> 00:50:15,213
and you've come full circle
and accepted who you are,

899
00:50:15,246 --> 00:50:17,482
you're not afraid of
the subject matter anymore?

900
00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:18,749
No.

901
00:50:18,783 --> 00:50:20,251
That's half
the battle right there.

902
00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:31,538
The state of Florida
has this program

903
00:50:31,562 --> 00:50:33,464
called the Jimmy Ryce Center.

904
00:50:33,498 --> 00:50:35,233
And it's where they
send sex offenders

905
00:50:35,266 --> 00:50:36,334
after their prison sentence,

906
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:38,136
until they determine
that they're not,

907
00:50:38,169 --> 00:50:39,737
probably go commit more crimes.

908
00:50:42,507 --> 00:50:44,775
They send you to Jimmy Ryce
for what they call

909
00:50:44,809 --> 00:50:47,312
"long term control, care
and treatment".

910
00:50:50,248 --> 00:50:52,850
They have this machine
called the PPG,

911
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:55,086
and basically what it is is,

912
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:56,487
a wire with a meter,

913
00:50:56,521 --> 00:50:59,724
some sort of a sensor
attached to your penis,

914
00:50:59,757 --> 00:51:02,627
and that's hooked to
a computer and they show you

915
00:51:02,660 --> 00:51:03,828
pornographic images

916
00:51:03,861 --> 00:51:06,131
somewhere akin to your crimes.

917
00:51:06,164 --> 00:51:08,699
And the idea is to
measure your penis growth,

918
00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:10,067
you know, through arousal.

919
00:51:12,737 --> 00:51:14,739
Another one they would use
would be taste.

920
00:51:14,772 --> 00:51:16,374
You'd have to taste
something horrible,

921
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:17,708
or even sometimes pain.

922
00:51:17,742 --> 00:51:19,453
They'd take a thumb tack
and stick it in your thumb,

923
00:51:19,477 --> 00:51:22,380
or a rubber band and snap it on
your wrist or something like that.

924
00:51:22,413 --> 00:51:23,848
And the idea is
to try to separate

925
00:51:23,881 --> 00:51:26,417
sexual arousal with
deviant behaviors.

926
00:51:28,219 --> 00:51:30,421
I spent eight
and a half years there.

927
00:51:30,455 --> 00:51:32,723
I've always told people that
there wasn't a single day

928
00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:33,858
that I wanted to be there.

929
00:51:33,891 --> 00:51:34,959
But I was there.

930
00:51:34,992 --> 00:51:36,694
There was nothing I could
do about it.

931
00:51:38,196 --> 00:51:39,597
And I figured, you know,

932
00:51:39,630 --> 00:51:41,199
despite the fact that
I was already 40,

933
00:51:41,232 --> 00:51:42,500
it was time for me to grow up.

934
00:51:57,715 --> 00:52:01,419
♪ It's starting
To turn winter ♪

935
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:04,889
♪ And the nights
Are growing cold ♪

936
00:52:04,922 --> 00:52:08,759
♪ With a crick in my neck
Downstairs I check ♪

937
00:52:08,793 --> 00:52:11,629
♪ For a blanket I can hold

938
00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:18,369
♪ I can't remember
When I last bathed ♪

939
00:52:18,403 --> 00:52:21,572
♪ It seems so long ago

940
00:52:21,606 --> 00:52:25,543
♪ With dirty clothes
And filthy hair ♪

941
00:52:25,576 --> 00:52:28,679
♪ There's no place
I can go ♪

942
00:52:35,353 --> 00:52:38,423
♪ Yes, I am the homeless

943
00:52:38,456 --> 00:52:41,926
♪ I sleep beneath the stars

944
00:52:41,959 --> 00:52:46,197
♪ In rundown shacks
By railroad tracks ♪

945
00:52:46,231 --> 00:52:49,634
♪ And in old, abandoned cars

946
00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:52,837
♪ It's a life
Not of my choosing ♪

947
00:52:52,870 --> 00:52:57,242
♪ And that shall be
My legacy ♪

948
00:52:57,275 --> 00:53:00,878
♪ Without a home
The streets I roam ♪

949
00:53:00,911 --> 00:53:03,748
♪ There's no future

950
00:53:04,482 --> 00:53:06,317
♪ For me

951
00:53:27,305 --> 00:53:29,006
Dustin was still eight,

952
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:33,344
and we had enrolled him
in the YMCA.

953
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:38,349
One day I went to go pick him up

954
00:53:38,383 --> 00:53:40,451
and they told me, "We can't
let you have Dustin.

955
00:53:40,485 --> 00:53:41,585
He's not here."

956
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,030
I said, "What do you mean
I can't have him?

957
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,923
Where's he at?"

958
00:53:45,956 --> 00:53:47,792
And the woman pulled me
in the room,

959
00:53:47,825 --> 00:53:49,694
and she told me what
he had said.

960
00:53:50,861 --> 00:53:54,265
Him and a bunch
of little boys were

961
00:53:54,299 --> 00:53:55,800
all talking,

962
00:53:55,833 --> 00:53:58,569
and they were talking about sex.

963
00:53:58,603 --> 00:54:00,638
Like nine-ten year old boys do.

964
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,672
And...

965
00:54:04,675 --> 00:54:06,644
And he had said he had
had sex before,

966
00:54:06,677 --> 00:54:07,821
and they said,
"No, you haven't."

967
00:54:07,845 --> 00:54:11,549
And he said yeah, he had.
He had had sex with his mom.

968
00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:13,751
And they got the counselors
and everything,

969
00:54:13,784 --> 00:54:14,885
and they took him.

970
00:54:16,654 --> 00:54:17,755
And, um...

971
00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:22,727
They took him to, like...

972
00:54:24,562 --> 00:54:26,897
Like a group home,

973
00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:28,699
juvenile place.

974
00:54:28,733 --> 00:54:31,536
And they let me go see him
with supervision and stuff.

975
00:54:32,637 --> 00:54:34,405
And...

976
00:54:34,439 --> 00:54:36,941
one thing that I hated
about my father,

977
00:54:36,974 --> 00:54:39,043
'cause he would never
tell me he was sorry.

978
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:41,011
Or that I was right,

979
00:54:41,045 --> 00:54:42,680
and that he was wrong
for what he did.

980
00:54:44,549 --> 00:54:47,485
And I didn't wanna
do that to Dustin.

981
00:54:47,518 --> 00:54:50,588
So, one of the first things
that I did when I seen him

982
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:52,323
is I gave him a hug

983
00:54:52,357 --> 00:54:53,858
and I told him
that I wasn't mad.

984
00:54:54,492 --> 00:54:56,293
I was actually...

985
00:54:57,962 --> 00:54:59,964
I was glad it was over.

986
00:55:00,931 --> 00:55:02,933
I didn't have...
I could...

987
00:55:04,735 --> 00:55:06,036
breathe.

988
00:55:06,070 --> 00:55:09,574
I don't know if I can say that,
but it was like...

989
00:55:11,742 --> 00:55:14,044
everything that I was running...

990
00:55:14,078 --> 00:55:16,581
And I didn't even know
that I was running from.

991
00:55:17,982 --> 00:55:19,717
Was over.

992
00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:21,486
You know, he was safe now

993
00:55:21,519 --> 00:55:22,720
and it was over.

994
00:55:24,755 --> 00:55:27,758
And I called... They called...

995
00:55:27,792 --> 00:55:30,428
The court people called Steve...

996
00:55:32,697 --> 00:55:35,966
And the last day I seen him

997
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,837
they let me take him out to the
little park where they had...

998
00:55:42,607 --> 00:55:45,976
And, um, they had these swings.

999
00:55:46,010 --> 00:55:48,446
And he was sitting on my lap,
and I told him.

1000
00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:50,515
I said, "Dustin,
I love you so much."

1001
00:55:52,617 --> 00:55:56,854
And I said, "I am so sorry
for hurting you.

1002
00:55:56,887 --> 00:55:59,657
For doing everything."

1003
00:55:59,690 --> 00:56:02,760
I said, "Not just for that,
but for everything.

1004
00:56:02,793 --> 00:56:04,529
For putting you

1005
00:56:05,162 --> 00:56:06,497
through everything...

1006
00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:08,999
that I've done to you.

1007
00:56:09,033 --> 00:56:11,602
The places, the people,
everything."

1008
00:56:13,571 --> 00:56:15,005
And I said, "I'm not mad at you.

1009
00:56:15,039 --> 00:56:17,408
You did right. You did
what you should've done,

1010
00:56:17,442 --> 00:56:19,544
and I'm proud of you."

1011
00:56:19,577 --> 00:56:22,379
And those were the last words
I got to say to him.

1012
00:56:23,614 --> 00:56:25,916
And they just... left.

1013
00:56:27,518 --> 00:56:30,187
I was supposed to see him
the next morning.

1014
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:32,757
I didn't know those were
going to be my last words.

1015
00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:35,826
But I wanted him to know,

1016
00:56:35,860 --> 00:56:37,662
because my whole life

1017
00:56:37,695 --> 00:56:39,997
I wanted my dad to tell me that.

1018
00:56:41,231 --> 00:56:43,634
My whole life I waited for that,

1019
00:56:43,668 --> 00:56:46,103
or for my mom to tell me
she was sorry,

1020
00:56:46,136 --> 00:56:47,605
that she loved me.

1021
00:56:51,008 --> 00:56:53,978
And I wasn't gonna make him
go through the same thing.

1022
00:56:58,583 --> 00:57:00,117
I turned myself in.

1023
00:57:00,150 --> 00:57:02,720
Went in, signed the paperwork.

1024
00:57:02,753 --> 00:57:05,222
I said, "Whatever my son
said I did,

1025
00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:07,191
print it out,
I'll sign it."

1026
00:57:07,224 --> 00:57:09,126
The judge looked at me
and he says,

1027
00:57:09,159 --> 00:57:10,828
"Do you know what
you're signing?"

1028
00:57:10,861 --> 00:57:12,029
I said, "I don't care."

1029
00:57:13,498 --> 00:57:15,966
He says, "Ma'am, what that
books says

1030
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,503
is that if they choose to,
they could put you

1031
00:57:18,536 --> 00:57:21,171
in Jimmy Ryce for
the rest of your life."

1032
00:57:21,205 --> 00:57:23,040
And I said,
"I don't care."

1033
00:57:25,776 --> 00:57:27,678
The only thing... I wrote
a letter,

1034
00:57:27,712 --> 00:57:28,579
and the only thing I asked

1035
00:57:28,613 --> 00:57:31,549
was if they would please
put a stipulation

1036
00:57:31,582 --> 00:57:34,018
to where I could have
contact with my son.

1037
00:57:40,057 --> 00:57:42,760
There's no healing
in this business.

1038
00:57:42,793 --> 00:57:45,663
Once you convict the offender
and send them off to prison,

1039
00:57:45,696 --> 00:57:48,165
the system disappears for
the victim and the family.

1040
00:57:48,198 --> 00:57:49,366
There's no help.

1041
00:57:49,399 --> 00:57:52,069
So nobody's really working
on what happened,

1042
00:57:52,102 --> 00:57:53,270
or what people think.

1043
00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:57,207
I don't want to demonize
the victim business.

1044
00:57:57,241 --> 00:57:59,109
It's almost like a religion
in this country.

1045
00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:00,845
But there's something
wrong with it.

1046
00:58:00,878 --> 00:58:02,947
They only perceive
women as victims,

1047
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:05,750
they refuse to accept that
men are victims.

1048
00:58:05,783 --> 00:58:07,552
They don't even wanna go near

1049
00:58:07,585 --> 00:58:10,087
the fact that the sex offenders
are victims.

1050
00:58:13,190 --> 00:58:15,626
Offenders will continue
to act out

1051
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:17,728
until they're stopped

1052
00:58:17,762 --> 00:58:20,531
and they understand
their behavior.

1053
00:58:20,565 --> 00:58:23,934
So, of you look at it
mathematically,

1054
00:58:23,968 --> 00:58:27,572
treating one offender might
prevent 10 more victims

1055
00:58:27,605 --> 00:58:29,640
from being created.

1056
00:58:29,674 --> 00:58:32,977
The DOC thinks all they have
to do is sit on them

1057
00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:35,913
for five or ten years
of probation

1058
00:58:35,946 --> 00:58:38,849
and then that's all
that's necessary.

1059
00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:40,217
My take on it is

1060
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:42,720
they have to really
be re-trained

1061
00:58:42,753 --> 00:58:45,723
and change the way
they live and think

1062
00:58:45,756 --> 00:58:47,157
about their own histories

1063
00:58:47,191 --> 00:58:49,226
and their own
dysfunctional families,

1064
00:58:49,259 --> 00:58:50,828
and their own addiction issues,

1065
00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:53,097
so they can go out and

1066
00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:55,633
make some real changes
in their own communities.

1067
00:58:55,666 --> 00:58:59,737
I see it a little more of
a sociological issue

1068
00:58:59,770 --> 00:59:00,805
than law enforcement,

1069
00:59:00,838 --> 00:59:03,140
which is more of
a containment issue.

1070
00:59:03,173 --> 00:59:04,842
All we wanna do is punish.

1071
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,711
Castrate them.

1072
00:59:06,744 --> 00:59:08,746
And make their lives miserable.

1073
00:59:08,779 --> 00:59:10,981
And you know, a lot of people
would say

1074
00:59:11,015 --> 00:59:12,883
they deserve it,
and maybe they do.

1075
00:59:12,917 --> 00:59:15,119
But I'm a counselor.

1076
00:59:15,152 --> 00:59:18,055
I believe in doing
what is gonna help,

1077
00:59:18,088 --> 00:59:19,189
not hurt.

1078
00:59:26,363 --> 00:59:29,233
I drove down to Mexico
and raped a five year old girl.

1079
00:59:31,301 --> 00:59:32,703
I was having

1080
00:59:33,804 --> 00:59:35,806
relationship issues at the time.

1081
00:59:36,674 --> 00:59:38,709
And I...

1082
00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:42,680
went down there
looking for a prostitute.

1083
00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:45,215
And when I didn't find that,

1084
00:59:47,117 --> 00:59:49,086
my thinking led me

1085
00:59:49,119 --> 00:59:53,057
to just start looking for
any female I could find.

1086
00:59:53,090 --> 00:59:55,359
So, it's like an escape for you?

1087
00:59:55,392 --> 00:59:58,095
Sex is like a safety valve

1088
00:59:58,128 --> 01:00:00,865
when you're very frustrated,
ready to blow?

1089
01:00:00,898 --> 01:00:03,901
Yes. That's a good way of
putting it, yes.

1090
01:00:03,934 --> 01:00:06,336
You just have to somehow

1091
01:00:06,370 --> 01:00:09,073
discharge that energy and--

1092
01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:13,878
Or at the time, sex was
the way I wanted to discharge

1093
01:00:13,911 --> 01:00:16,914
that pent up frustration.

1094
01:00:16,947 --> 01:00:18,883
Was it kind of revenge
against your partner

1095
01:00:18,916 --> 01:00:22,186
who had broken your heart
and let you down?

1096
01:00:22,219 --> 01:00:24,421
It was probably revenge
against all women at that time.

1097
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:27,291
All women? Okay.
So there is an anger component.

1098
01:00:27,324 --> 01:00:28,993
Oh, yes. There was.

1099
01:00:29,026 --> 01:00:32,196
Do you believe it was
something that was escalating?

1100
01:00:32,229 --> 01:00:34,098
Yes. Absolutely.
I do.

1101
01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:37,334
Did you ever try to,
like, tell your parents,

1102
01:00:37,367 --> 01:00:38,936
or talk to your best friend?

1103
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,005
I was afraid.
Just scared shitless.

1104
01:00:41,038 --> 01:00:43,207
Afraid to even
talk about it with them,

1105
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:46,711
because, like someone else
just mentioned,

1106
01:00:46,744 --> 01:00:51,782
I wasn't sure if I was just
voicing these thoughts and stuff.

1107
01:00:51,816 --> 01:00:53,183
It was gonna get me locked up.

1108
01:00:53,217 --> 01:00:54,919
It is an issue.

1109
01:00:54,952 --> 01:00:57,421
People that get in situations
just don't know where to turn.

1110
01:00:57,454 --> 01:00:59,089
- That is an issue.
- Right.

1111
01:00:59,123 --> 01:01:00,057
I agree with that.

1112
01:01:00,090 --> 01:01:02,727
Within nine months of
my previous release,

1113
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:05,796
I also started to view
child pornography,

1114
01:01:05,830 --> 01:01:10,000
both rape porn... pornography

1115
01:01:10,034 --> 01:01:11,836
and child pornography.

1116
01:01:11,869 --> 01:01:16,106
So, this wasn't like exactly
a new theme for you.

1117
01:01:16,140 --> 01:01:17,374
No, it wasn't--

1118
01:01:17,407 --> 01:01:18,651
It was something that
was ongoing.

1119
01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:21,979
Yes, it has always been something
in pornography that I watch.

1120
01:01:23,948 --> 01:01:27,351
I know that some fantasies
that I've had...

1121
01:01:30,420 --> 01:01:33,323
Violence against women have
been a real big thing about it.

1122
01:01:34,358 --> 01:01:36,460
And one of the things...

1123
01:01:37,394 --> 01:01:39,463
One of the things for me

1124
01:01:40,931 --> 01:01:43,300
is sharing that.

1125
01:01:45,836 --> 01:01:48,172
I do that with a very
select group of people,

1126
01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:51,208
because some of it can be quite
disturbing to other people.

1127
01:01:51,241 --> 01:01:53,844
I have to feel comfortable
that they're not gonna...

1128
01:01:56,781 --> 01:01:58,916
That's not gonna change
their opinion of me.

1129
01:02:13,263 --> 01:02:15,232
People like me...

1130
01:02:15,265 --> 01:02:18,135
I mean,
the violent people like me...

1131
01:02:18,168 --> 01:02:20,304
There should be some
labeling on us.

1132
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:23,140
There needs to be...

1133
01:02:24,208 --> 01:02:26,010
for my tier,

1134
01:02:26,043 --> 01:02:29,346
which I would say is
one of the higher tiers

1135
01:02:29,379 --> 01:02:31,281
of sex offenders,

1136
01:02:31,315 --> 01:02:33,784
There needs to be

1137
01:02:33,818 --> 01:02:37,554
some label on, so the police...

1138
01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:40,290
So some people maybe in
the community know.

1139
01:02:41,225 --> 01:02:42,927
Not to punish 'em,

1140
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:44,929
not to bring 'em down,

1141
01:02:44,962 --> 01:02:46,931
but for a way to help 'em.

1142
01:02:46,964 --> 01:02:48,465
Make sure they don't re-offend.

1143
01:03:06,416 --> 01:03:08,585
I would like to be
a professor at a university,

1144
01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:10,154
teaching film studies

1145
01:03:10,187 --> 01:03:12,089
and publishing articles
and books,

1146
01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:15,860
I've got to get my PhD.

1147
01:03:15,893 --> 01:03:17,527
The professor thing's
still possible.

1148
01:03:17,561 --> 01:03:20,330
It's just gonna be harder now.

1149
01:03:20,364 --> 01:03:22,566
The school administrations
might not want me.

1150
01:03:22,599 --> 01:03:25,169
So, I've just got to
make my work that much better

1151
01:03:25,202 --> 01:03:26,336
and try to sell myself.

1152
01:03:29,940 --> 01:03:32,910
I like to think of myself
as this, like,

1153
01:03:32,943 --> 01:03:35,245
angry Leftist punk guy,
but like...

1154
01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:39,984
I try to be loving to
the people close to me.

1155
01:03:40,017 --> 01:03:42,586
I try to do right by them.

1156
01:03:45,555 --> 01:03:47,524
I guess I'm a brutal feminist.

1157
01:03:47,557 --> 01:03:48,558
It's a bizarre thing,

1158
01:03:48,592 --> 01:03:49,936
especially in America,
because it's...

1159
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:54,231
still seen as negative,
or seen as this radical thing

1160
01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:56,000
where you think women
are better than men.

1161
01:03:56,033 --> 01:03:57,101
And all feminism means

1162
01:03:57,134 --> 01:03:58,969
is you believe
men and women are equal.

1163
01:04:03,507 --> 01:04:06,576
As a felon, I can't vote,
and I don't really care.

1164
01:04:06,610 --> 01:04:10,114
There's not gonna be
a politician that

1165
01:04:10,147 --> 01:04:12,950
is gonna agree with
my views anyway.

1166
01:04:12,983 --> 01:04:14,451
So, it's not a huge deal.

1167
01:04:14,484 --> 01:04:16,086
I'm always gonna be a loser.

1168
01:04:24,995 --> 01:04:25,996
Sometimes it still feels like,

1169
01:04:26,030 --> 01:04:28,532
I wake up and I'm like,
"Is this real?

1170
01:04:28,565 --> 01:04:30,534
Is this a dream?"

1171
01:04:30,567 --> 01:04:32,536
It sounds like a cliche,
but I've had days

1172
01:04:32,569 --> 01:04:34,529
where I'm like, "Oh, this can't
possibly be real."

1173
01:04:37,141 --> 01:04:41,578
And I have to deal with
all these restrictions.

1174
01:04:44,081 --> 01:04:47,151
But then I think of other people

1175
01:04:47,184 --> 01:04:49,486
who got off a lot worse
than I do,

1176
01:04:49,519 --> 01:04:52,522
and I can't help feel
a little fortunate.

1177
01:04:52,556 --> 01:04:56,560
Because no one got as light
a sentence on my charges.

1178
01:04:56,593 --> 01:05:00,097
Everyone's getting between
four and 12 years

1179
01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:01,798
and I got one.

1180
01:05:01,831 --> 01:05:05,069
But I have to register as a sex
offender for the rest of my life.

1181
01:05:27,124 --> 01:05:30,527
I was sentenced to
11 years in prison

1182
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,530
for lewd, lascivious

1183
01:05:34,999 --> 01:05:38,935
sexual battery on
my eight year old son.

1184
01:05:40,237 --> 01:05:41,538
And, um...

1185
01:05:42,672 --> 01:05:45,275
a lot of circumstances
around it.

1186
01:05:45,309 --> 01:05:46,409
But, um...

1187
01:05:47,744 --> 01:05:50,180
I was talkin' to a gentleman
on the internet,

1188
01:05:50,214 --> 01:05:52,282
and he kept telling me that

1189
01:05:52,316 --> 01:05:54,684
if I asked Dustin
for permission,

1190
01:05:54,718 --> 01:05:57,154
that it would be okay.

1191
01:05:57,787 --> 01:05:59,289
And...

1192
01:06:00,224 --> 01:06:01,992
Somewhere in my twisted

1193
01:06:02,759 --> 01:06:03,960
way of thinking, and--

1194
01:06:05,429 --> 01:06:07,264
Did your dad ask you permission?

1195
01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:09,233
Or pretend to give you control?

1196
01:06:09,266 --> 01:06:12,069
I was daddy's little girl.

1197
01:06:12,102 --> 01:06:15,039
And that was his way of
showing me that he loved me.

1198
01:06:15,072 --> 01:06:16,473
And that's how he groomed you,

1199
01:06:16,506 --> 01:06:19,743
and he got you to,
you know, respond.

1200
01:06:20,410 --> 01:06:22,579
"Sure, daddy."

1201
01:06:22,612 --> 01:06:24,681
- So-- -So that's why
you would believe that.

1202
01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,650
- Yeah.
- You were groomed the same way.

1203
01:06:26,683 --> 01:06:28,052
Right.

1204
01:06:28,085 --> 01:06:30,654
But it created

1205
01:06:30,687 --> 01:06:33,390
my son to offend
when he was 13...

1206
01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:37,061
on a three year old little boy.

1207
01:06:37,094 --> 01:06:39,129
And he got sentenced
to a year in juvie.

1208
01:06:39,796 --> 01:06:42,532
And now he's in prison

1209
01:06:43,233 --> 01:06:45,001
for...

1210
01:06:45,635 --> 01:06:46,570
armed robbery.

1211
01:06:46,603 --> 01:06:48,605
All behind trickle effects.

1212
01:06:48,638 --> 01:06:51,175
He never got therapy.
I didn't get therapy.

1213
01:06:51,208 --> 01:06:53,143
My father never got therapy.

1214
01:06:53,177 --> 01:06:56,380
It's a cycle of dysfunctional,

1215
01:06:56,413 --> 01:06:58,148
almost addictive behavior

1216
01:06:58,182 --> 01:06:59,483
passed down.

1217
01:06:59,516 --> 01:07:01,218
It was a family trait,

1218
01:07:01,251 --> 01:07:03,787
and everybody in the family
is affected by it.

1219
01:07:05,289 --> 01:07:07,091
Do you feel that,

1220
01:07:07,124 --> 01:07:09,059
you know, the powers that be,

1221
01:07:09,093 --> 01:07:11,528
the gods of the universe
are trying to help you

1222
01:07:11,561 --> 01:07:12,662
sort all this out?

1223
01:07:12,696 --> 01:07:13,763
Or do you still feel yourself

1224
01:07:13,797 --> 01:07:16,500
as a victim being punished?

1225
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:19,536
No, I don't see
myself as a victim.

1226
01:07:19,569 --> 01:07:22,072
It's like, the other day

1227
01:07:22,106 --> 01:07:24,174
a guy made a comment
in class about,

1228
01:07:24,208 --> 01:07:26,743
you know, sex offenders
being monsters.

1229
01:07:26,776 --> 01:07:29,579
And not everyone is.

1230
01:07:29,613 --> 01:07:31,715
And I don't...

1231
01:07:31,748 --> 01:07:33,850
I don't believe that
sex offenders are monsters.

1232
01:07:33,883 --> 01:07:36,286
Have you met any
monsters in the palace?

1233
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:37,654
No, just me.

1234
01:07:37,687 --> 01:07:39,723
Anybody that can
take something...

1235
01:07:39,756 --> 01:07:42,526
In my mind, this is how I feel.

1236
01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:45,595
I took away the most
innocent thing out of my son,

1237
01:07:46,463 --> 01:07:48,198
and created

1238
01:07:48,232 --> 01:07:50,300
and taught him things that
he should've never known.

1239
01:07:52,502 --> 01:07:55,339
I think that if I would
have been able

1240
01:07:55,372 --> 01:07:58,575
to have had someone allow me to

1241
01:07:58,608 --> 01:08:00,744
speak what I really wanted to,

1242
01:08:01,445 --> 01:08:03,147
or you know,

1243
01:08:03,180 --> 01:08:05,815
help me learn that that's not
the way it's supposed to be.

1244
01:08:07,717 --> 01:08:10,620
You know what, I can't...

1245
01:08:15,692 --> 01:08:19,363
Just to be able to get
help with it,

1246
01:08:19,396 --> 01:08:22,132
to where it doesn't
wind up being

1247
01:08:22,166 --> 01:08:25,735
everything that you see and then you
don't know the difference anymore,

1248
01:08:25,769 --> 01:08:28,605
and that's your life.

1249
01:08:28,638 --> 01:08:32,176
And that's the only
avenue that you know.

1250
01:08:32,209 --> 01:08:33,743
So, that's what you do.

1251
01:08:34,644 --> 01:08:37,381
Not everybody goes that route.

1252
01:08:37,414 --> 01:08:40,617
But that's the part that
I held on to,

1253
01:08:40,650 --> 01:08:43,753
because that was my dad
and my dad loved me.

1254
01:08:43,787 --> 01:08:46,256
So, since my dad loved me,

1255
01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:48,258
then it was okay.

1256
01:08:51,628 --> 01:08:55,165
But my son wrote
my probation officer

1257
01:08:56,433 --> 01:09:00,570
and asked to have
contact with me,

1258
01:09:00,604 --> 01:09:01,871
that he had forgiven me,

1259
01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:04,941
and that he would
like to rebuild

1260
01:09:04,974 --> 01:09:06,710
his relationship with me.

1261
01:09:09,246 --> 01:09:11,648
So, I'm working on that now.

1262
01:09:11,681 --> 01:09:13,417
On a motion for that.

1263
01:09:16,953 --> 01:09:18,688
I'm in college.

1264
01:09:20,557 --> 01:09:25,695
Just got my first 4.0 ever.

1265
01:09:25,729 --> 01:09:26,829
Ever.

1266
01:09:28,965 --> 01:09:30,700
And, um...

1267
01:09:34,271 --> 01:09:35,705
It's not as bad as it looks.

1268
01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:51,721
I made some changes in my life.

1269
01:09:51,755 --> 01:09:53,423
I made some changes
in my thinking.

1270
01:09:53,457 --> 01:09:56,726
You know, how I respond to the
world, how I react to the world.

1271
01:09:58,562 --> 01:10:01,598
I had one counselor.
They took me in her office for six months.

1272
01:10:01,631 --> 01:10:03,400
And we would sit down
for an hour and a half

1273
01:10:03,433 --> 01:10:04,834
so she could teach me
how to cry.

1274
01:10:04,868 --> 01:10:06,370
'Cause I couldn't cry.

1275
01:10:06,403 --> 01:10:08,238
My parents beat all of that
out of me.

1276
01:10:08,272 --> 01:10:10,307
There was no crying.
That made it worse.

1277
01:10:10,340 --> 01:10:12,342
I didn't even cry when
my son was killed.

1278
01:10:12,376 --> 01:10:13,519
But I've learned how to do that.

1279
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:14,754
I've learned how to
interact with people.

1280
01:10:14,778 --> 01:10:17,381
You know, I appreciate
being able to socialize.

1281
01:10:18,515 --> 01:10:19,949
I believe this is it.

1282
01:10:27,524 --> 01:10:29,025
Right out here is Hanes Road.

1283
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:30,303
And I sit on my porch
in the morning,

1284
01:10:30,327 --> 01:10:32,396
and I have my cup of coffee.
It's nice and quiet.

1285
01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:34,097
And one day,

1286
01:10:34,130 --> 01:10:36,333
I guess it was about
six months ago,

1287
01:10:36,366 --> 01:10:37,810
a gentleman came flying
up in his truck,

1288
01:10:37,834 --> 01:10:39,403
pointing a gun at me.

1289
01:10:39,436 --> 01:10:41,338
Telling me that

1290
01:10:41,371 --> 01:10:44,374
if I stalked his daughters
he was going to kill me.

1291
01:10:44,408 --> 01:10:45,409
I don't know who this man is,

1292
01:10:45,442 --> 01:10:46,810
I don't know who
his daughters are,

1293
01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:48,854
I don't know what he's talking about.
So, I asked him.

1294
01:10:48,878 --> 01:10:49,946
Probably with
a very shaky voice,

1295
01:10:49,979 --> 01:10:52,416
'cause there was a gun
pointed at my face.

1296
01:10:52,449 --> 01:10:54,017
He thought I was
stalking his daughters,

1297
01:10:54,050 --> 01:10:56,586
'cause they walked down
this road to go to school.

1298
01:10:56,620 --> 01:10:58,755
And honestly, I never even
noticed them.

1299
01:10:58,788 --> 01:11:00,600
There's a lot of people that
walk up and down the street.

1300
01:11:00,624 --> 01:11:02,635
I don't pay attention to them,
especially in the morning.

1301
01:11:02,659 --> 01:11:05,362
In the morning I'm thinking
about what my day's gonna be.

1302
01:11:05,395 --> 01:11:06,630
And you know...

1303
01:11:06,663 --> 01:11:08,441
And when I talked to him,
we actually sat down,

1304
01:11:08,465 --> 01:11:09,399
we had a cup of coffee together.

1305
01:11:09,433 --> 01:11:11,134
He turned out to be a nice guy.

1306
01:11:11,167 --> 01:11:12,512
And once he saw that I wasn't this
monster that he thought I was...

1307
01:11:12,536 --> 01:11:15,004
He's actually been to back
the house a couple of times.

1308
01:11:15,038 --> 01:11:15,939
Have a beer.

1309
01:11:15,972 --> 01:11:17,941
And we had dinner one night.

1310
01:11:17,974 --> 01:11:22,612
No street light
and no city lights.

1311
01:11:22,646 --> 01:11:24,648
We always bitch
about the system.

1312
01:11:24,681 --> 01:11:27,050
Probation this, this, this...

1313
01:11:27,083 --> 01:11:28,552
We get mad at society.

1314
01:11:28,585 --> 01:11:29,895
Society doesn't...
They don't know any better.

1315
01:11:29,919 --> 01:11:32,422
They don't get any other story,
because most of us

1316
01:11:32,456 --> 01:11:34,558
we don't wanna go
and talk about this.

1317
01:11:34,591 --> 01:11:35,735
You know, we did this bad thing.

1318
01:11:35,759 --> 01:11:37,627
And we still have this
bad self image.

1319
01:11:37,661 --> 01:11:39,496
Most of us got
a low self esteem issue

1320
01:11:39,529 --> 01:11:40,873
that pretty much led to
what we were doing

1321
01:11:40,897 --> 01:11:42,566
in the first place.

1322
01:11:42,599 --> 01:11:44,444
They're not gonna hear
anything unless we tell 'em.

1323
01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:45,769
We have to humanize ourselves.

1324
01:11:45,802 --> 01:11:47,437
'Cause we're not
human beings to them.

1325
01:11:47,471 --> 01:11:48,838
We're a title, we're a monster,

1326
01:11:48,872 --> 01:11:50,907
we're a bogeyman,
whatever it is.

1327
01:11:50,940 --> 01:11:52,809
There's 120 people living
in this park.

1328
01:11:52,842 --> 01:11:54,744
That's 120 ambassadors

1329
01:11:54,778 --> 01:11:56,446
that every day
have an opportunity

1330
01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:57,614
to open somebody's eyes.

1331
01:11:57,947 --> 01:11:59,047
Every day.

1332
01:11:59,949 --> 01:12:01,785
The only way that's gonna happen

1333
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:04,454
is you've got to go out
and let people see

1334
01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:05,588
that you're a human being.

1335
01:12:18,535 --> 01:12:21,371
There's only two things
that we can do in life

1336
01:12:21,405 --> 01:12:22,439
when things go wrong.

1337
01:12:22,472 --> 01:12:24,941
We're either a part
of the problem,

1338
01:12:24,974 --> 01:12:26,776
or a part of the solution.

1339
01:12:27,977 --> 01:12:29,479
Hello. You got a minute?

1340
01:12:29,513 --> 01:12:31,114
You got a minute
for an old friend?

1341
01:12:31,147 --> 01:12:33,483
Sure. Come on in.

1342
01:12:33,517 --> 01:12:35,819
My own son was arrested.

1343
01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:39,088
You don't believe it's gonna
ever happen in your family.

1344
01:12:39,122 --> 01:12:42,659
And I took, I guess, my anxiety,

1345
01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:46,796
and tried to replace it
with another energy.

1346
01:12:46,830 --> 01:12:49,733
And thus was born
Florida Justice.

1347
01:12:50,934 --> 01:12:52,802
This was 20 years ago.

1348
01:12:52,836 --> 01:12:54,604
So much time has passed.

1349
01:12:54,638 --> 01:12:56,606
And everything's kind of
moved on,

1350
01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:58,542
except for one thing,
that stigma.

1351
01:13:00,009 --> 01:13:01,678
I can only ask you,

1352
01:13:01,711 --> 01:13:03,480
do you have a child?

1353
01:13:03,513 --> 01:13:04,614
We have a son.

1354
01:13:04,648 --> 01:13:05,949
You think he's perfect?

1355
01:13:05,982 --> 01:13:07,917
- Mmm-hmm.
- Sure?

1356
01:13:07,951 --> 01:13:09,586
There's not a mother
in the world

1357
01:13:09,619 --> 01:13:11,488
who doesn't hold that
little child

1358
01:13:11,521 --> 01:13:13,790
and think, "Thank God.

1359
01:13:13,823 --> 01:13:16,125
It's the most wonderful
present in the whole world."

1360
01:13:17,661 --> 01:13:19,195
But that child grows up

1361
01:13:19,228 --> 01:13:21,698
and that child does
something bad.

1362
01:13:21,731 --> 01:13:22,999
He makes a mistake.

1363
01:13:24,668 --> 01:13:25,768
Just one.

1364
01:13:27,971 --> 01:13:29,606
Never to be forgiven.

1365
01:13:39,048 --> 01:13:41,785
These are mine. Everybody
can have everything else.

1366
01:13:41,818 --> 01:13:43,178
You're starving
everybody to death.

1367
01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:45,955
Good for you, girl.

1368
01:13:51,094 --> 01:13:53,563
...figure out that they
could shelter in the toilets

1369
01:13:53,597 --> 01:13:56,633
overnight...

1370
01:13:56,666 --> 01:13:58,535
So, they put a timer on 'em.

1371
01:13:58,568 --> 01:14:00,003
So you put your little money...